update

so it's been a few days. pick up where i left off. i sang in chapel and loved it. friday night there were soccer games. hung out after that. saturday at noon i left on small group leader retreat. came back sunday at noon. it was good. encouraging in many ways. sunday was a long day. tried a new church. didn't really care for it. today i felt the effects of minimal sleep--head ache. it is such a rare occasion for me to get a head ache. i will be off to sleep soon.

my raybans finally came in and they are being shipped here along with my gift card/money i won from my bank back home. pretty excited about that package arriving.

last friday i filled out an online application for collegenannies.com. she called back today to have an interview. it will be on thursday at 2:30pm at a good coffee shop. can't wait. i think they will use me for on call nannies since i have the one day i watch darby. it makes it a little difficult for scheduling purposes. but i love watching darby. wouldn't give that opportunity up for anything. i watch her tomorrow. cannot wait.

i think this week will be slow homework-wise. just reading for classes. that is fine with me.

here is a poem we had in our booklet at retreat. thought it was good and wanted to share it with you.

i stand by the door,

i neither go too far in, nor stay too far out, the door is the most important door in the world - it is the door through which men walk when they find God. there is no use my going way inside , and staying there, when so many are still outside and they, as much as i , crave to know where the door is. and all that so many ever find is only the wall where a door ought to be. they creep along the wall like blind men, with outstretched, groping hands. feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door, yet they never find it...so stand by the door.

the most tremendous thing in the world is for men to find that door-the door to God. the most important thing any man can do is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands, and put it on the latch - the latch that only clicks and opens to the man's own touch. men die outside that door, as starving beggars die on cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter - die for want of what is within their grasp. they live, on the other side of it - live because they have not found it, nothing else matters compared to helping them find it, and open it, and walk in, and find Him...so i stand by the door.

there is another reason that i stand there. some people get part way in and become afraid lest God and the zeal of his house devour them; for God is so very great, and asks all of us. and these people feel a cosmic claustrophobia, and want to get out. "let me out!" they cry. somebody must be by the door to tell them that they are spoiled for thee old life, they have seen too much: once taste God, and nothing but God will do any more. somebody must be watching for the frightened who seek to sneak out just where they came in, to tell them how much better it is inside. the people too far in do not see how near these are to leaving - preoccupied with the wonder of it all. somebody must watch for those who have entered the door, but would like to run away. so for them, too, i stand by the door.

by samuel moore shoemaker

that is all for now. peace.