i'm finding that in life i can't always do the things i love. i really enjoy singing for chapel and for anything, but i don't think i'll be able to do that anymore (this year). i have too many other responsibilities.
in many of my classes we start things and don't finish them, we work on them slowly. i'm the type of person who likes to finish one thing before moving on to the next. so, it's driving me crazy! same thing with practicums. i have two this semester and three next semester. i wish we could do them one at a time. they would each only have to be 2-3 weeks long. it just makes mores sense. i think i would get more out of it. well, i don't have any control over that so i just need to get over it. i also can have a bad attitude towards these things that i have to do and that bothers me. i need to realize these are blessings and the Lord is molding me.
i love being relational with people so it is killing me being so busy. i have to run from one thing to the next and i don't know why, but i never expected it.
just learning a lot, as always. not necessarily in classes. haha. just kidding, i am, but i feel like it is just a lot of life lessons. i feel like i have gotten sloppy with my responsibilities and i need to work on that. i also need to find a consistent work schedule. i need to make money, but i honestly don't have a lot of time to work when it isn't a definite schedule. if that makes sense. something will have to change next semester.
i fear getting burned out this year and i can't let that happen.
as i was making coffee about an hour ago i was reminded that i sometimes think coffee smells like a skunk. one time we were driving down town KC and past the coffee plant and i thought it smelled horrible because of a skunk but it was really the coffee plant. it's funny how we associate skunks as smelling bad and then love the smell of coffee. i have a friend who loves the skunk smell and it makes sense to me. but to this day when i know it is a skunk i think gross and coffee=the best. just thought i would share this with you. :)
on monday i was at my exceptional learner practicum school (special ed. resource room). it was only my third time going and i worked with this little girl meg. she is very smart but has behavioral issues, like throwing chairs and such. discipline sounds like a good option but they are trying to write an IEP up for her. yes, she may have some behavioral issues, but perhaps she just needs some love and to be shown that is not how we are to act. my heart goes out to this girl and the other children that visit this room. as i was just sitting/observing at this table she was at she had a little free time to draw. i saw her look up at me and then draw a circle and to curved lines on her paper. i had an idea she might be drawing me. she indeed was. then she drew herself right next to me. we were holding hands and had raincoats on out in the pouring rain. let me tell you, i teared up. i think the lord may be directing me to this type of teaching at some point in my life. i will have to have the classroom experience to pay off some forgivable loans, but i can see myself possibly getting my masters in the sped (special education) area.
i've been wanting to blog for a while now. i can't wait for thanksgiving break and definitely christmas break. if you could pray for me that would be wonderful. greatly appreciated.
love to all,
maresa lee
