painting pictures of egypt

this pretty much describes my life right now.


I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend
It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this


CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know


BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?


Sara Groves speaks the truth. 

quotes

My Utmost for His Highest
"The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars in the sky and "the lilies of the field"--simply and unaffectedly.  Those are the lives that mold and shape us.  If you want to be of use to God, maintain the proper relationship with Jesus Christ by staying focused on Him, and He will make use of you every minute you live--yet you will be unaware, on the conscious level of your life, that you are being used of Him."


Common Prayer
"Lord, give us true words to pray for one another.  Burden our hearts with shared sorrows, and delight our spirits with mutual joy.  Let genuine love provoke in us words of blessing and inform our intercessions.  Amen."  

awhile

it's been a while.  i'm in kaldi's enjoying some coffee and internet time.  shipped sherry's christmas gift today.  i'm excited for beau, suz and madeline to come and i wish i could go visit the duerre family.


i found this quote on a blog today.

❝

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.

— C.S. Lewis

updown

these are the things i am praying about:


student teaching where? i have to get approved to do so remotely.  
school 


i'm preparing myself for this year.  but i can't become too attached to one idea, it might change.  this is hard for me.  


so hard.  

nanny

earlier this school year i was at the leawood roasterie.  this guy came in with his ipad and sat down at the table next to me.  a little while later one of the cutest little girls came in and i knew she was his daughter.  a little boy also came in and they sat and chatted for a little bit before the little boy started 'working' and the little girl got to play on the ipad.  she was so adorable.  as she started playing with the ipad she would accidentally hit the wrong button and the dad would have to help her get the video started again. after a few times i reached over and helped her because he was on the phone.  she started chatting with me.  then i asked her a few questions, how old she was, etc.  then the dad joined the conversation.  helped her tell me her name, age, background.  (these kids know 3 languages!)  after a little small talk i found out they owned the roasterie.  yeah.  no big deal.  he gave me he and his wife's business cards.  he told me if i ever had any ideas of how the store could be better to contact them.  well, most of my friends know i love the roasterie.  i tried getting a job there after school ended for the year.  no luck.  also kind of thankful.  i don't want it to loose it's 'special-ness'.  haha.  

well, two days ago i went to the brookside roasterie.  i was waiting for my coffee when i look up and here comes this little boy i'd 'met' several months ago.  bed head and all.  he was heading back to the back of the store.  he knows this is like his home.  i look around the rest of the store and see the little girl and a lady who seems to be their nanny.  that was when i wished i could just nanny full-time.  if i was lucky, for this family, but i would also love to nanny abroad.  my friend nicole told me i should do that this summer, but i didn't have the money to get over there and i just really didn't think it was possible.  well, let me say this, i think i would love an opportunity like this.  maybe after i graduate.  if i didn't have any debt after i graduated then it would be an easy decision.  this is not the case.  

i have loved living in olathe this summer.  i get to hang out with friends.  i haven't had a summer like this yet and i am really enjoying it.  i tried a second job, but it was nanny-ing for an indian family.  not my cup of tea.  i was expected to be by the baby at all times.  they were very concerned with germs.  they didn't really want me to hang around the same area as they were.  so, i said i didn't think this was going to work out.  i thought i had another potential job, but nothing has happened with it yet.  it was to work at a new restaurant.  my host family from college church knows the co-owners and they had talked about needing staff to open and close.  that would work perfect for my schedule.  we'll see what happens.  there were a lot of high schoolers working there.  i'm about ready to go apply at startbucks.  ha.  the leawood roasterie is hiring a full-time barista.  wish i could apply.

last night i took a personality test that is similar to myers-brigss.  it was free on the internet.  i am ESFJ and it seems right.  here are a couple links.  one and two.  i've been reading some of the other types and can relate to a couple other ones as well.  it's just interesting.  


tonight i am taking a big group of friends to UNforked.  it's the new restaurant i applied at.  food is great, local, healthy, and the building is my style. hah.  i'm excited to see what everyone thinks.  


i am going home on sunday for about 24 hours.  spending time with our dear friend sarah jo.  then i'll spend sunday night with mom and dad if they don't get back in town too late.  then the next half day will be with mom--as dad is heading off to camp.  


my room in our apartment is being painted at the moment.  there were two purple wall that don't match our bedroom things.  i'm excited to see what it will look like.  i'm also ready for markli to return.  


this is a long post.  hope it's entertaining; at least a little.  


little goals in life:
nanny
floral work
bakery/coffee?
travel to europe (soon)
live in the same area as family (columbia/mo, olympia/wa, mt.vernon/ohio)


that was a big update.  i think i've shared everything on my mind.  ha :)


loveyouall
maresalee